Just A Friend

When you are a child, it’s a no brainer who your friends are; they are the ones who play with you everyday on the playground at school, or around the neighborhood at home. But as we get older, the lines have a tendency to become misconstrued, fuzzy, vague….invisible. To make things clearer, I am speaking in terms of men and women being just friends, solely, strictly, friends.

Is that possible?

First off, is this relationship plutonic and by platonic, I mean no sexual verbal or physical interaction! So there has been no slip up with conversation, no creepin’ off at parties where the two of you end up alone, no prolonged hugging…no kissing. I bet there are a lot of you thinking hard…..lol keep it real, keep it 100!

And there was a time when hanging out with your boyfriend or girlfriend around your other friends was acceptable, now that we are older, it seems the rules have changed. I personally have come into contact with guys who prefer their girlfriend not to have male friends. Some of the reasons simply boiled down to the fact that the friend has  a penis, so he simply cannot be trusted.

What are some of us learning as children growing up, that some of us aren’t, regarding friendships with the opposite sex?

For instance, my boyfriend of 3 years is not cool with the me having male friends, even though I have known them before he and I became a couple. He has admitted that he himself, has never had a just friends relationship with women. I find that to be so unfortunate for him.

I have learned a lot about the psyche of men thru my male friends advice, plus I am the type of person to operate within boundaries, but if I am feeling a man, I am sure to let him know that I am definitely interested. And although I have been rejected or disappointed as I like to say it, I didn’t have any regrets about stating the tone of my intentions.

But I gather that life has to be pretty one-sided, if one never tries to develop a relationship with the opposite sex, outside of the sexual. Is there something wrong with a man and a woman wanting to befriend each other, even when they are in committed relationships?

Again, I have personally watched married men and women engage in some flirtatious activity with friends or co workers and thought to myself, if their spouse were here, would this behavior be appropriate in their eyes…but sometimes what looks like one thing, can really be another.

So is it that being friends and being in a relationship, brings about the wrong perception for some or that we super impose what we would do if it were us making a friend or continuing a friendship while in a relationship?

I am certainly looking forward to the feedback on this topic. It is something I am seriously interested in and love to discuss. Leave a comment with your thoughts on the subject!

Peace and Blessings



  1. Hey gurl hey, I’m truly happy that you have found your passion to create.I heard this topic being discussed on the Steve Harvey morning show. You are on point. Keep up the good work. I’m proud of you!!!!!!!!

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