dating

Word of the Day

Singlehood doesn’t have to mean loneliness. It’s all what you make it.

Never be lonely enough to settle.

Change up your habits, by incorporating activities you may have always thought to do, but never attempted.

Push yourself to be more optimistic about the choices and decisions you state for yourself.

Alone time is prep time.

Its get your ish together time.

Its get to know who you are and what do you want time.

Its enjoying the many splendor of freedom time.

Its understanding where you fall short and desire support time.

Get all you can, but above else, get yourself some understanding.

Take the time to be alone.

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Short Story: Difficult to Satisfy Pt.4

Paula parked her car and headed towards her friend awaiting her inside their coveted shoe store. She was happy that Kerra was back around more often. When she and Dorien were together, Paula rarely saw her friend. Their whirlwind romance had taken everyone aback, but nobody was more affected, in her opinion, than Clinton. Although he and Kerra had always only been friends, anyone with half a mind and the eyesight to go along with it, could see their was a natural and organic attraction between the two. And sure, Paula understood her friend’s hesitancy about moving forward with a relationship with Clinton….it was no small feat. So, she had always kept her thoughts about their budding romance to herself. Who was she to complicate someone else’s thought process, especially when hers seemed to be slipping away from her, rather suddenly.

When she entered the store, Kerra was sitting with about ten or so shoe boxes surrounding her. As she stuck her leg out from behind her long flowly skirt, Paula admired her friend’s awesome legs. Paula always thought Kerra would have made a great shoe or leg model, people can make a living doing anything these days!

Those look fabulous on your feet. You should definitely get those! Paula half – teased Kerra.

Spinning around elaborately, Kerra smiled at her friend as she theatrically elongated her legs, strutting in a small circle, clearly enjoying the attention Paula’s compliment had drawn. The two giggled like sisters and gave way to a warm and genuine hug. Time could never manage to drive them a part. The were made to be friends.

I had begun to worry that you were not going to make it. Hope you don’t mind, I had to start without you, the shoes were beckoning me to them. I gave in.

Paula laughed gently at her friend, Kerra had always been the more artistic one when it came to fashion. Not that she was frumpy, but Paula enjoyed a more causal chic approach, while Kerra was definitely content to be dressed to the nines, despite the weather or activity. She believed looking her best capitalized her appeal, and it did.

I am really excited about Clinton’s party. It has been so long since I have been out amongst friends and good music. You know he throws the best shindigs.

Paula nodded in agreement. Since the first time they met Clint DJing out in the Highlands, at this seedy and tightly packed sardine bar, they knew Clint was the go-to-party guy around town. It amazed Paula to this day that Clinton was the man behind the turn tables. It was a huge shock to both of them that night….Kerra more so than Paula.

She let out a knowing giggle at the memory.

What are you over there thinking about? Kerra asked.

I am thinking about the first time we met Clint at that hole in the wall bar over in the Highlands. That tiny place was packed tight with people and everyone was there to hear Clint spin. She shook her head from side to side. And when we went up to the booth to meet him, I was expecting someone different. It makes me giggle every time, because I just wasn’t ready. Not at all.

Kerra nodded her head. She too had been stunned to learn Clint’s identity. He was a young and handsome, physically fit man…..he was also not Black. In fact, Clinton is white. And while the world spoke of progressive attitudes and behaviors, in the real world, it was completely different. Although she and Clint had never been intimate or displayed any physical affection, she cared deeply for him. She never thought she would connect with a man in the manner she connected with Clinton. It was as if, they had known each other their entire lives, the chemistry was definitely there.

However, so were her parents, friends, colleagues and community. The looks and stares she would receive from Black men when she and Clint would go out for drinks or dinner or a walk in the park, were scary. It was almost as if their eyes alone had permanently etched a scarlet letter into her chest. She never quite understood why it was blasphemy for her to be seen out in public with Clinton, but Black men dated, married and reproduced with various nationalities…what was the big deal with her then?

Well, despite his appearance, Clinton has been a great friend to the both of us. His endless connections and reach have afforded each of his friends advantages we may not have had.

Clinton’s family was a wealthy family who accumulated their wealth through construction and environmental advances. When Kerra was looking to work with a new environmental group in the city, it had been Clinton who made the connection stick. She appreciated him stepping in when she needed him. It was a relationship that she still engaged in today, her experience with that company helped her to develop her career.

I think I will take these and the strappy knee boots. Kerra spoke, pulling herself from her nostalgic thoughts.

Okay, I think I will just go with the t-strap platform. Allows me to show off my arch and my pedicure. Paula wiggled her toes in the shoes as she spoke the words. There was nothing like a little retail shoe therapy to take her mind off her previous thoughts.

As both ladies gathered their selections and headed towards the cashier, they each were simultaneously wrapped up in their own thoughts. Each thinking what the next move was ahead of them.

Exactly what was to come?

And they each would soon find out.

Choices

I am all in ya personal business today! This is a question I have been pondering in my mind lately.

People say you choose to love, but I say you also choose to trust. So since you have a choice in the matter, is one sufficient without the other? Or is it a package deal?

As always, don’t be scurred to talk back to me. Click an answer and let me know how ya’ll view it.

Let me hear your perspective.

Peace and Blessings.

Happy Loving.

Happy Trusting

Just A Friend

When you are a child, it’s a no brainer who your friends are; they are the ones who play with you everyday on the playground at school, or around the neighborhood at home. But as we get older, the lines have a tendency to become misconstrued, fuzzy, vague….invisible. To make things clearer, I am speaking in terms of men and women being just friends, solely, strictly, friends.

Is that possible?

First off, is this relationship plutonic and by platonic, I mean no sexual verbal or physical interaction! So there has been no slip up with conversation, no creepin’ off at parties where the two of you end up alone, no prolonged hugging…no kissing. I bet there are a lot of you thinking hard…..lol keep it real, keep it 100!

And there was a time when hanging out with your boyfriend or girlfriend around your other friends was acceptable, now that we are older, it seems the rules have changed. I personally have come into contact with guys who prefer their girlfriend not to have male friends. Some of the reasons simply boiled down to the fact that the friend has  a penis, so he simply cannot be trusted.

What are some of us learning as children growing up, that some of us aren’t, regarding friendships with the opposite sex?

For instance, my boyfriend of 3 years is not cool with the me having male friends, even though I have known them before he and I became a couple. He has admitted that he himself, has never had a just friends relationship with women. I find that to be so unfortunate for him.

I have learned a lot about the psyche of men thru my male friends advice, plus I am the type of person to operate within boundaries, but if I am feeling a man, I am sure to let him know that I am definitely interested. And although I have been rejected or disappointed as I like to say it, I didn’t have any regrets about stating the tone of my intentions.

But I gather that life has to be pretty one-sided, if one never tries to develop a relationship with the opposite sex, outside of the sexual. Is there something wrong with a man and a woman wanting to befriend each other, even when they are in committed relationships?

Again, I have personally watched married men and women engage in some flirtatious activity with friends or co workers and thought to myself, if their spouse were here, would this behavior be appropriate in their eyes…but sometimes what looks like one thing, can really be another.

So is it that being friends and being in a relationship, brings about the wrong perception for some or that we super impose what we would do if it were us making a friend or continuing a friendship while in a relationship?

I am certainly looking forward to the feedback on this topic. It is something I am seriously interested in and love to discuss. Leave a comment with your thoughts on the subject!

Peace and Blessings