family

Word of the Day: Family

Family:

Everything.

The people who love you most.
Aggravate the worst.
And make the memories worth the time spent.

Cherish them.

Motivation for Perspective: Go Getter Monday

In all our efforts to go after what desire, we cannot forget to stop and smell the roses.

Enjoy the moments of family, friends and fellowship.
Make sure that your connections go deeper than securing a new connect.
Make it meaningful.
Make it worth your time.
Because you’re growing and you need people in your life who truly care about you and show it through action.
Enjoy those people.
Take the time to spend time together.
We all need those moments.

Make A Plan
Take Action
Set Up Shop
Go Get It

Motivation for Perspective: Go Getter Monday

Enjoyment is just as important to the biggest picture as the work it takes to bring it to life.
Who we have in our lives matters a great deal towards the wealth of our experiences.
The love we exchange helps to shape us, naturally, into who we are to become.
And the energy we create with will dictate the tone of our legacy.

It may all be relative, but it still translates.

Love the life you live. And if you aren’t loving  life, what are you willing to do and change to begin to loving it?

Make A Plan
Take Action
Set Up Shop

Go Get It!

Short Story: Difficult to Satisfy Pt.4

Paula parked her car and headed towards her friend awaiting her inside their coveted shoe store. She was happy that Kerra was back around more often. When she and Dorien were together, Paula rarely saw her friend. Their whirlwind romance had taken everyone aback, but nobody was more affected, in her opinion, than Clinton. Although he and Kerra had always only been friends, anyone with half a mind and the eyesight to go along with it, could see their was a natural and organic attraction between the two. And sure, Paula understood her friend’s hesitancy about moving forward with a relationship with Clinton….it was no small feat. So, she had always kept her thoughts about their budding romance to herself. Who was she to complicate someone else’s thought process, especially when hers seemed to be slipping away from her, rather suddenly.

When she entered the store, Kerra was sitting with about ten or so shoe boxes surrounding her. As she stuck her leg out from behind her long flowly skirt, Paula admired her friend’s awesome legs. Paula always thought Kerra would have made a great shoe or leg model, people can make a living doing anything these days!

Those look fabulous on your feet. You should definitely get those! Paula half – teased Kerra.

Spinning around elaborately, Kerra smiled at her friend as she theatrically elongated her legs, strutting in a small circle, clearly enjoying the attention Paula’s compliment had drawn. The two giggled like sisters and gave way to a warm and genuine hug. Time could never manage to drive them a part. The were made to be friends.

I had begun to worry that you were not going to make it. Hope you don’t mind, I had to start without you, the shoes were beckoning me to them. I gave in.

Paula laughed gently at her friend, Kerra had always been the more artistic one when it came to fashion. Not that she was frumpy, but Paula enjoyed a more causal chic approach, while Kerra was definitely content to be dressed to the nines, despite the weather or activity. She believed looking her best capitalized her appeal, and it did.

I am really excited about Clinton’s party. It has been so long since I have been out amongst friends and good music. You know he throws the best shindigs.

Paula nodded in agreement. Since the first time they met Clint DJing out in the Highlands, at this seedy and tightly packed sardine bar, they knew Clint was the go-to-party guy around town. It amazed Paula to this day that Clinton was the man behind the turn tables. It was a huge shock to both of them that night….Kerra more so than Paula.

She let out a knowing giggle at the memory.

What are you over there thinking about? Kerra asked.

I am thinking about the first time we met Clint at that hole in the wall bar over in the Highlands. That tiny place was packed tight with people and everyone was there to hear Clint spin. She shook her head from side to side. And when we went up to the booth to meet him, I was expecting someone different. It makes me giggle every time, because I just wasn’t ready. Not at all.

Kerra nodded her head. She too had been stunned to learn Clint’s identity. He was a young and handsome, physically fit man…..he was also not Black. In fact, Clinton is white. And while the world spoke of progressive attitudes and behaviors, in the real world, it was completely different. Although she and Clint had never been intimate or displayed any physical affection, she cared deeply for him. She never thought she would connect with a man in the manner she connected with Clinton. It was as if, they had known each other their entire lives, the chemistry was definitely there.

However, so were her parents, friends, colleagues and community. The looks and stares she would receive from Black men when she and Clint would go out for drinks or dinner or a walk in the park, were scary. It was almost as if their eyes alone had permanently etched a scarlet letter into her chest. She never quite understood why it was blasphemy for her to be seen out in public with Clinton, but Black men dated, married and reproduced with various nationalities…what was the big deal with her then?

Well, despite his appearance, Clinton has been a great friend to the both of us. His endless connections and reach have afforded each of his friends advantages we may not have had.

Clinton’s family was a wealthy family who accumulated their wealth through construction and environmental advances. When Kerra was looking to work with a new environmental group in the city, it had been Clinton who made the connection stick. She appreciated him stepping in when she needed him. It was a relationship that she still engaged in today, her experience with that company helped her to develop her career.

I think I will take these and the strappy knee boots. Kerra spoke, pulling herself from her nostalgic thoughts.

Okay, I think I will just go with the t-strap platform. Allows me to show off my arch and my pedicure. Paula wiggled her toes in the shoes as she spoke the words. There was nothing like a little retail shoe therapy to take her mind off her previous thoughts.

As both ladies gathered their selections and headed towards the cashier, they each were simultaneously wrapped up in their own thoughts. Each thinking what the next move was ahead of them.

Exactly what was to come?

And they each would soon find out.

Short Story: Difficult to Satisfy Pt 3

**corrections, the character Mekhi

Kerra was looking forward to shopping with Paula. They spoke often enough while she was away, but it seemed like she could barely get her friend on the phone since her return. She was surprised at herself at how happy Paula sounded over the phone when Kerra called her on short notice. In fact, Paula seemed a little relieved for the invite. No matter, Kerra was happy to chill with her friend. As she stepped into their favorite shoe store, Nine West, her phone vibrated; a text from Paula, omw be there in 15mins.

She cleared out from the message and placed her phone into her purse and begin to make a nice comfy section for their shoe haven. It was going to be an expensive type of day.

Dammitt! Paula shrieked silently as she entered the elevator, thankful she was the only one. How could she behave like some sex starved schoolgirl?! Her behavior was shocking her into a fright, she could not believe how thirsty she appeared for a man who had just been hired, to handle the sensitive needs of the staff, and she was attempting to find out what other needs she and he may be able to assess privately. Something about his intoxicating scent, just would not allow her mind to form work appropriate thoughts of him….Mekhi.

She played out their earlier exchange as she found her car in the parking deck. Upon her normal early arrival onto her floor, she noticed the light in Mekhi’s office was on. Thinking she would pop her head in for a friendly Good Morning, however the pleasantries turned into an hour-long session of local sites, eateries and weekend indulgences. The only reason she finally made her way to her own  office, is because Manda, her assistant came to deliver a message from one of her recent partners, with the graduation program.

Sitting there running off at the mouth with Mekhi, she missed their scheduled phone conference. She could feel the heat of embarrassment rising from the tip of her toes. While struggling to maintain expressionless as she gathered her bag and briefcase, she could not determine if it were from the shame of her secretary finding her sitting casually with Mekhi or the guilt of not wanting to leave his office.

Either way it may it hard to get through the remainder of the day. As soon as Kerra called with an impromptu shoe shopping trip, she jumped at the chance to cut out early from work and from the curious glances Manda were sending her way. Each time she came into the office to hand off a report or pick up an assignment, she would peer at Paula’s face . Paula would not dare raise her eyes to look at her assistant, she knew her eyes would give way to what she was thinking….and what she had in mind, was not something she wanted anyone to know. No one.

Poll Alert! Are Your Friends Trustworthy Emergency Contacts

Hey Girl Hey!!! wants to know, What about your friends?

In a time when the world is moving so fast, unfortunately, things can happen in a matter of moments.

And with so many of us far away from home and our love ones, who are we to depend on in our times of need or emergency?

So today, we focus on our friends. What kinds of support systems are we building to sustain us in our lives?

Drop your opinion on the poll below and leave a comment as well! Like and share!

 

I.C.E. Call My Mama

I am not sure if you are familiar with the acronym, I.C.E, but it stands for “in case of an emergency.” The other day as I was getting dressed,  I noticed my college id card I carry with me when I go walking around my complex. I mean God forbid something to happen to me while I am out exercising, but I carry the card to identify me and I wrote my mother as my point of contact.

Keep in mind, my mother lives in another state, but truly I would want her to be the person notified, because I know she will know what to do. But then, I begin to feel a bit weird about the fact I have family and friends close by, but I would choose to have my mother, who is hundreds of miles away, to be my safety net person.

 Mom

It made me think about that concept and what does that mean to me. I am surrounded by family and friends, yet I do not trust them to function properly in my time of need. Very interesting concept…it points me in a few directions, but the most prominent ones are; am I untrusting or is my circle untrustworthy?

 

But if my circle is untrustworthy…its only because I am untrusting. I don’t expect trust.

 

And I can admit, I do not trust easily. I find that it is easier to allow people to be themselves, then to place false hope in them, expecting them to function in the same manner of consideration as I do for them. It is with this mentality, I have become extremely choosy with whom I have certain conversations, be it deep or merely surface level, in the end, it all matters.

Because it is human nature for people to become spiteful and bitter and vindictive. And when this occurs, secrets, loyalty and trust become foreign actions and anger becomes a new friend. Whatever can be remembered, will come up…and then what do we have left? Nothing, I say.

nothing

With my trust, I need to know that who I am is not a problem for you, because if it is, we must change how we interact. Because while I am given you genuine pieces of me, you are silently judging them all. Analyzing my gift of friendship, for why it is not what you want it to be.

And as I get older, I find that I am having to have these types of conversations with new people I meet. It is not that I am being pessimistic  about meeting people, it is just that I am quicker to observe, than I am to jump in and make myself known. Everybody does not need to know me and I don’t need to know everybody.

My willingness to be accepted has been superseded by my desire to change things I can not accept. And being in situations with people who have shown themselves to be untrustworthy, is what I can not accept, so I have decided to change that.

Who and what we cling to, could be the detriment of us or the positive turning point for us. Who can you call on in case of an emergency? Is your circle capable of handling that responsibility? How are the relationships we are building, actually supporting us?

Everyday that I am blessed to move forward in life, I am always looking around to see whose moving forward with me. I guess, that is what I need to base my trust off; the people who are actually making an effort to meet me halfway. Now, that doesn’t mean I am gonna change my I.C.E., however, it means that I need to connect my circle. Whoever is in it, needs to know each other.

 

I can trust that.

Listen to Give

Memory Lane

I am an avid game player on my phone. Whether it is a word game or a card game, specifically uno and spades, and board games like dominoes. In playing these games, sometimes you luck up to get a game going versus a real life human, rather than a computer. You have the option to chat with others, if you so choose to. One particular day, I was challenged by a fella to play a word game. He was no one I knew or had met before, which is not a prerequisite to play, but after some time of playing, he messaged me through the game chat.

He told me he was thankful I accepted his game challenge and thankful I helped him to think harder about his word plays. And then what he said next, surprised me. His mother passed away about two months ago, and he found playing games online as a way of not thinking about his grief.

At first I thought, here goes another person telling me their story, without me asking. How can I possibly understand the magnitude of such a lost? But then, my spirit said, listen.

I engaged in the convo to thank him for deeming me a worthy opponent and I took the uncertain step of asking him questions about his mother and what else he has a means to heal and move forward.

His mom died of cancer and she is the same age as my own mother.

It made me think and it made me grateful.

It made me think because, I sometimes worry if my mother will live to see me walk into the greatness I envision for myself and the faith she has in me to obtain it. And it made me grateful because she has been here every step of my journey, rooting me forward. In any measure, it’s a lost I am not ready to take.

In our chatting, I was able to recommend my blog to him, as a means of motivation and hopefully some inspiration about healing. I wanted to say, you are so strong and awesome to still decide, to still choose to be happy, to be forward moving in a time when life can seem to stand still.

All in all, I am glad I listened. I am glad I did not miss the opportunity to share in someone else’s life. In that brief conversation, I learned that I have a lot to be grateful for, and it is imperative that I acknowledge that every day, as cliché as it sounds, it is the realist thing you will ever hear.

So, if and when you come across a stranger, whether online or off, should they reach out for conversation, calm your spirit enough to hear what they have to share. It could be a ramble of incoherent thoughts or it could be a golden nugget; either way you never know how much you taking the time to listen could be the difference between someone having a better day or a sad one.

Share your joy.

Give your light.

It is not the will of God that we keep these things for ourselves. Listen to Give.